I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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