Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
