Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
