I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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