Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
did you just send me my own nude
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
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