I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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