okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
