i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
