Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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