Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
