I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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