if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
