Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I believe in your delicious
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
