Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
