I just made out with a guy for $7.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
