Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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