Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
