Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
