Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
You peed on a flamingo?!?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
