YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
