During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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