"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
just tell him i said nine months
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
