i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Randomize
