yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
