is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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