Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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