Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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