Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
