my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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