Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
