Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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