Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
