I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
