didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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