i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
