Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
