I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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