real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
