Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
