Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
