you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
