saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
