I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
the raccoons are back...
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