And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
