I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
