god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
