whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
