Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize