Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
