he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
