Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
